My start in coaching
As far as I can remember I’ve always been sensitive to other’s moods and emotions and I tend to have a natural impulse to help people who are feeling “out of sorts”.
From quite an early age this sensitivity to others led me to form quite strong impressions of those around me. As I started interacting with these individuals, I discovered that when they were disturbed by something, just listening to whatever was going on for them and “hearing” what they were saying helped ease their tension. It didn’t remove the problem, but just being heard helped the individual deal with whatever was going on for them.
Although it wasn’t a conscious realisation at the time, I basically found out that we all need to be ‘heard’ and sometimes it takes a stranger to really “hear” what a person is saying. I think the reason for this is because friends and family members tend to ‘hear’ us through the filter of their experience of us, and this filter sometimes distorts or hides what’s really being said. Either that, or the friend or family member is too invested in the outcome, to fully support us to change.
Some years later I experienced this first hand when I heard what I was actually saying myself to a colleague. This was a one of many turning points in my life and lead me to train as a life coach.
Frequently asked questions
What is a typical coaching session with you like?
If you’re looking for someone to have a cosy chat with and skirt safely around uncomfortable topics, then I’m not the coach for you. Coaching with me tends to go quite deep quite fast. That’s not to say there’s no compassion or sensitivity in my communication, I have a huge amount of empathy for people and the situations they find themselves in. Because of that, and also because I’m your coach not your friend or significant other, I’m going to challenge you on your beliefs, opinions, wants & desires.
How do you work?
Well, first and foremost, I create a safe comfortable space for you to express yourself without judgement and I listen to you. I give you my full undivided attention without agenda. I let you off load all the stuff you’ve been carrying around with you and help you see what’s really there. So, a bit like a mirror I reflect back to you what you show me and if we discover something that isn't supporting you I use parts-therapy coaching to help you make the changes you want to be.
What techniques do you use in sessions?
The process I use in coaching typically combines active listening, questioning and parts-therapy with Neuro-linguistic programming and core transformation to help reveal and remove blocks.‘Parts’ are basically ‘compartments of consciousness’ which can sometimes leave us feeling conflicted and out of balance. During a coaching session I help you tune into these parts which can appear in the form of images, thoughts or feelings and investigate what’s there and why.
Parts-therapy coaching looks at our belief systems and the relationship we have with different parts of ourselves. You can read more about parts here.
How do I know if coaching with you is the right approach for me?
I pay close attention to what you’re saying and identify which of my many tools and techniques will help to resolve an issue you have. Indicators are feelings of being conflicted and expressions such as “I’d like to … but part of me …” or “I feel both… and … at the same time”. The techniques I use are an incredibly insightful method of looking at situations you want to change.
I'm not a non native speaker, can we still work together?
Of course! In my experience most of what everyone goes though in life happens at an identity level, which is where parts-therapy is particularly effective. Having been and expat and taught English to in big Global organisations for most of my life I particularly identify with people who are faced with these challenges. However, I’m delighted to work with a wide variety of people all of whom want to feel confident and feel in control of their life again.
Coaching for Expats
Having lived as an expat for most of my life I understand how stressful moving to a new country can be.
I understand the feelings of overwhelm with the enormity of the task of carving out a new life for yourself and your family in a foreign country.
I relate to the frustration of not understanding the language well enough to take control of private situations.
I know that feeling of dread when you have to call the local authorities to find out about a system you’re unfamiliar with, in a language you’re not fluent in.
I’ve experienced the feeling of isolation living in a culture very different to your own despite belonging to expat groups.
I sympathise with the guilt you feel about moving your children away from their friends to a new country and a new schooling system.
I emphasise with the sleepless nights and rising panic you feel at 3am that this move might turn out to be a horrible mistake.
I’ve felt the exhaustion of having to remain cheerful and optimistic and get yourself out there in the front line for the sake of your family.
I feel you, and I want you to know. You don’t have to feel like that, there is another way. I can’t change the fact that being an expat is hard at times, but I can lighten your load.
You know those thoughts and feelings of panic, guilt and overwhelm? I can help you make them go away… so that you can get on with living your life… the life you and your family dreamed of… the life you deserve.
Check my availability and lets have a conversation about getting you to where you want to be.