Ever found yourself inwardly shrinking during a presentation?

I was watching a video on LinkedIn last week of a lady full of passion and power talking about what she believed in. I was captivated by her video, enchanted by the energy and dynamism in her. Then towards the end as she spoke about a free resource she had produced… she shrank. Her whole demeanor, changed, her voice, her tone, her body language, everything.

The strong determined woman was no longer there, and in her place sat a young girl self conscious, and embarrassed of the visibility and what she was offering.

It was as if she’d changed places with an earlier version of herself. It only lasted for a few seconds; as soon as she changed the topic away from what she was offering the 50+ powerhouse was back… the young girl had vanished.

I know exactly what happened; I’ve seen it in clients before and experienced it myself firsthand. It comes from misalignment, and happens when we don’t feel completely comfortable with what we’re saying or feel like it we don’t quite belong.  It happens when negotiating contracts, when stepping into new roles and especially in new leadership roles, and is rooted within self identity and self worth.

That’s why my programs start with exercises on self identification and validation, because you can’t build authentic long lasting change without a firm basis of who you are. When you build on shaky foundations, anything you build anew feels unstable and a lot like you’re just like acting. Unless you’re a professional actor, if it feels like acting it typically looks like it, too which can damage your professional image and reputation.

You’ll have noticed it yourself in the leader or manager who looks and sounds good, but something just feels off. You can’t quite put a finger on what it is. What they’re saying is sound, their qualifications and past experience all add up, but there’s something out of alignment, and that misalignment is just enough of a gap for the seeds of doubt to take hold.

We’re all sending and receiving micro-signals all the time, so a lot of this is happening on a subconscious level. If you were to put it under the microscope of the consciousness you would see the uncomfortable version of them scanning faces to see if anyone noticed how they’re really feeling on the inside. When it thinks its been seen, its see this as external evidence that it’s suspicions are right and they don’t belong. All of this takes effort, it adds to your mental load, further damaging your sense identity, exhausting you in the process.

That’s why I’m against hacks and quick fixes, because they only do further damage in the long run. Instead I help people uncover what it is that’s making them feel uncomfortable and come to terms with it so they can stand strong in their identity. Unashamed, dignified, defiant… that’s where leadership presence comes from. From the depths of who we are on the inside, not in the superficial polish of hacks and tricks, because they all tarnish and crack over time.

If you’re ready to find that version of yourself, I’m ready to work with you.

Click below to book a free call with me to find out how I can help you speak up with confidence and lead with presence.