How long do you shake after voicing your opinion?

I have the knowledge, I have the experience, I know what I have to say, I even feel driven to speak… so why does my heart beat so fast when asking a question or challenging an opinion and why does my body shake for so long afterwards even when nothing ‘bad’ happens and the outcome is positive?

That’s a question I’ve asked myself time and time again in a variety of situations and it basically comes down to psychological safety. I can feel both stirred to take action and speak up, yet shake for an hour or more afterwards with the effort it took to be that ‘brave’.

The shaking of course is a natural response by my body to manage the adrenaline produced by the perceived threat, I know that, and understanding what’s going on internally is helpful. Let’s face it when you’re freaking out on the inside it’s reassuring to know you’re not broken.. but that knowledge only gets you so far. 

What you and I both really want is solutions not just explanations.

So I read a lot, watched a lot of YouTube videos and spent many thousands of hours not to mention euros on courses to not only understand what was going on but to find a solution that helped me manage what I was experiencing.

What I’ve learnt is that there is no single way to manage these symptoms. In fact  there are many ways and what works for one person in one situation one day may work better or worse the next. 

There are also a wide variety of techniques for stage freight, social anxiety or just nerves before an event which I believe just add to the problem. These are the confidence hacks and tips and tricks. I’m not saying these don’t work, they do… for a time. But at some level I think we all know that fake it till you make it will always feel like faking it until you’re able to own it; and until you’re able to own it you’re just adding to your pressure rather than reducing it.

There are however a great many techniques that do work well at reducing pressure and anxiety without increasing the burden and jeopardizing self belief or fueling imposter syndrome and it’s these techniques I now share with my clients through my ‘Stirred not Shaken’ series of talks, workshops, and coaching programs.

Techniques that help to quieten the mental chatter, calm the nervous system and ground you in what is authentic for you so that you can access confidence that’s naturally present when you’re feeling psychologically safe.

The thing I love about all of these techniques is how you can apply them yourself. It generally takes 6-9 months of working with me (once or twice a month) to ‘get it’ but once you understand what’s going on for you and which techniques work best, you’re able to self manage your symptoms yourself. That’s not to say that I only work with clients for maximum 9 months, some people choose to work together with me all year round because the work is so much easier with the support of someone who understands what’s going on and who has experienced it themselves, as I have.

In January I’m launching a new program which combines monthly 1-2-1 sessions with regular check-ins, audio note coaching, group sessions and free access to virtual workshops. If you’re interested in knowing more click 'Book a call' to arrange a free consultation call.