Introvert flu?

How to recognize the symptoms and what to do about it.

I've been sick this week, which is a real pain as I had a networking event I wanted to go to and I had to cancel. In the past I'd have been secretly delighted at having an excuse not to go, but that's changed since I've been working on myself and using somatic techniques.

This time it was real flu but it's not always been the case. Some years ago I'd get fake flu or what I now call introvert flu. Introvert flu feels real, like you’re in the early stages of flu or ‘coming down with something’ but in reality it’s your subconscious providing you with an out, a reason to justify not going to the event. It could involve nausea, dizziness or headache and the symptoms gradually increase in intensity during the day until I cancel or it's too late to go after which I start feeling better.

How to recognize if it’s real or fake flu:

Mental chatter.

With introvert flu there’s often been a stream of ‘I don’t want to go’ thoughts running through my head in the hours or days beforehand.

Physical emotions.

When I don’t want to do something or go somewhere I feel a heaviness in my abdomen. Having connected these sensations with accompanying emotions I know that for me this sensation represents emotion of dread. I might also experience a dropping sensation from the centre of my chest to my lower abdomen which is represented by fear of failure and rejection.

Go for a walk

This is my acid test for health/illness. When I’m really ill I might have the strength to move around the house but quickly lose power moving around outside. When I’m faking it I might feel weak inside, but once I get moving outside and focussing on something other than the upcoming event I start to increase in energy.

What to do about it:

Acknowledge

Listen to what the mental chatter is saying rather than ignoring it, pushing it away or fearing it. The subconscious uses mental chatter to communicate information with us with the aim of keeping us safe. So, giving it the attention it’s asking for and trying to understand the message its sending is the first step.

Agree

If your mental chatter is saying that it doesn’t want to go, tell it you hear it and you understand, don’t argue with it or tell it it’s bad or shameful or should be better. Compassion is key when working with our mental chatter. Listen as you would a small frightened child and agree that some activities such as networking on presenting in front of senior stakeholders can be frightening.

Access

Select a memory of an event where you felt in the same way as you’d like to be feeling right now. Spend a few minutes experiencing how that feels as a reminder that anxiety doesn’t define you completely. Doing this not only gives your nervous system a break from the effort of fear and helps you reset even if for a few minutes.

Act

Now you have a better idea of what’s really going on it’s time to act on that information. If the risk or danger that your subconscious perceives to be there is high, then consider not going. But if the actual risk of danger is low saying inwardly, thank you for telling me and wanting to keep me safe, I understand your concerns, but it’s fine, we’re going. If the event is a new to you such as networking for the first time consider a goal to reach. This could be time at the event, number of people you speak to or connection contact info exchanged.

Moving forward:

These steps form the methodology I use with all my clients. Putting in the foundation work of getting to know your subconscious and how to communicate with it as well as understanding how different emotions feel in the body, helps you become more aware of how, and who, you really are. It also reduces the chance of being taken by surprise by the sudden unexpected reactions to events.

These techniques help calm the nervous system rather than giving it more work to do through fake it till you make it practices which can significantly increase the cognitive load particularly in multilingual leaders who process not only through multiple languages but also have to navigate multiple cultural differences.

If you’re a multilingual leader and also a bit of an introvert and this speaks to you, connect with me and sign up to my mailing list to stay in touch with upcoming events.