Why affirmations aren't always enough

Affirmations and vision boards are popular for a reason. They help us stay focused on what we want, reduce stress, and keep hope alive, especially when things feel slow or uncertain. I use variations of these tools in my life and business. They work.

But I’ve also learned they’re only one side of the story.

There’s another kind of fuel… darker, less talked about, that can be just as powerful. It's not about spiralling into fear or catastrophising. It's about looking your fear in the eye, not to panic, but to wake up.

Let me explain.

We all have goals. For some, it’s speaking fluent English, for others it’s finding the confidence to speak up at work, build a business, or as in my case ride a motorbike without freaking out. We often know what we want. We even know what’s getting in the way. But without urgency, we stay stuck in “one day” mode.

I once read a story about a man trying to lose weight. He tried everything, healthy food, diets plans, exercise plans, but didn’t see results. Then one day, while cycling, he was chased by a dog. Pure fear kicked in. He cycled faster than ever. Days later, he noticed he’d dropped more weight than usual. So, he started imagining the chase on his daily rides. And the weight came off.

The story stuck with me, not just because of the dog, but because of what it shows: sometimes, fear works when positivity doesn’t.

I see this often in my clients. Students who treat English as a hobby will plateau for years. But the moment they’re relocated for work, and suddenly have to survive in a new role, their fluency shoots forward. Not because they’ve changed their method. But because now, the stakes are real.

When survival is on the line, professional, social or financial, something primal kicks in. You stop second guessing. You act.

That’s not to say we should live in fight or flight. But we can learn to work with both sides of the motivational spectrum:

• On one side: the clear vision, the life you want, the future you’re building.

• On the other: the fear of what might happen if you don’t change.

It’s a dance, a balancing act. If all you do is focus on the good, your subconscious may become quite content in the imagination, the dream without actually forcing you into action. If all you do is dwell on the worst case scenario, you shut yourself down to the possibility of ever gaining more for yourself.

But when you hold them both side by side... "This is what I want, and this is what will happen if I don’t act…" you speak a language your subconscious understands.

You make it personal. Urgent. Real.

And that’s often when things start to shift.

This is something I work on with clients every day, especially introverted, non-native English speakers in Pharma and Biotech. The ones who know their subject inside out but freeze when it’s time to present or speak up. It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about knowing what’s at stake and using it to power change.

If that’s something you’re facing, you don’t have to do it alone. Knowing your blocks is powerful. But shifting them is easier with support. Send me a message if you’d like to explore how coaching could help.