Everyone Else Is Covering It Up Just As Well As You Are!

Most of the challenges my clients face are human ones, which is reassuring to be honest.

They come with the secret fear that they’re the only one in the team, department, company to feel like a complete fake and imposter in their new leadership position. That’s one reason why group coaching programs can be so effective yet also so intimidating particularly when they carried out internally. It’s that secret fear of, ‘What will my colleagues think of me if I admit how I feel?’ ‘What if I’m the only one who gets palpitations at just the thought of presenting to the board’ ‘Will I lose face if I admit that I feel like an imposter in my new leadership position?’

Somewhere in their logical brain they know that this isn’t true, but when they look around they don’t see anyone who looks or sounds like they feel on the inside. So they go back to their initial belief that they’re the only one...

• The only one who gets nervous before meetings

• The only one whose mind goes blank under pressure

• The only one who replays past conversations over and over again in their head

• The only one who forgets words, makes language mistakes, has an accent, doesn’t understand every word of a conversation between native speakers, feels insecure, gets palpitations at the thought of being asked their opinion in a high profile meeting, whose whole body shakes when negotiating, justifying their position or just speaking up in meetings.

Don’t believe me? Ask around…

Of course you’re not going to do that because that would mean you admitting to your team and yourself how you actually feel, and that might just be the tipping point. You can keep it together while you’re ignoring it, but you worry that if you speak your fear out loud it will be like pandoras box, and that would be humiliating, shameful and irrecoverable for both you personally and your career… so you keep quiet.

There’s a very good reason why you believe that you’re the only one to suffer as you do. Because everyone who is suffering in the same way is doing just as good a job at covering it up as you are.

How do I know this? Because for over 25 years I’ve worked as a language trainer for big global companies predominantly within Pharma and Biotech, but also within automotive, insurance, banking and even the fashion industry and I’ve heard countless clients describe how despite their language proficiency in our sessions, they experience many if not all of the symptoms listed above.

These symptoms aren’t as obvious externally to everyone else as they are internally to you!

The other thing I know for a fact, is that these symptoms aren’t as obvious externally to everyone else as they feel to you internally. I know this for a fact because I’ve given workshops, spoken on stage, and asked questions to forums in crowded auditoriums with my body shaking so much that I’ve been convinced that it’s plain for everyone to see… yet no one noticed. In fact at those same events I’ve been complimented on my professional ‘performance’.

You’re probably now rationalising that my symptoms weren’t as severe or obvious as yours and that when you shake or forget words it really is obvious… and for a couple of you might be right. But something that Richard Bach said years ago has stayed with me...

“Argue your limitations and they’re yours”

 When I first heard it it irritated me, which is a sign for me that he was right!

You see, when we find ourselves justifying why it’s more difficult for us than for anyone else… why its different for us for whatever reason, it’s a huge red flag… a known defence mechanism to prevent us from doing the scary thing of looking at our insecurities and fears.

So I’m throwing down the gauntlet to you. If what I’ve described sounds like you and you want to argue your limitations and stay as you are… ignore this article and do nothing.

If however you’re curious to know more or if you’re ready to start working on your limitations, your insecurities, and your self confidence and start leading with presence, dm me for a free chat about your experiences and how my 3 session connect to confidence program can help you speak up and lead with presence.

Book a call with me here