How to Stop Spiraling After a Bad Interview

You failed a recent interview and now you're replaying all your answers over and over in your head trying to work out what went wrong.

• Did you share too much information? 

• Did you not share enough?

• Were your answers not accurate enough?

• Was there something you said or didn't say that was a red flag for them?

• Did you misunderstand a question?

• Was there something important you didn't mention that would have got you the job?

• Why did your mind go blank when they asked about your experiences with xzy?

• Why did you only think of mentioning xyz after you left the meeting?

• What did they want to know when they asked you about xyz?

• Should you have asked more questions?

• Should you have asked less questions?

I can't tell you the answers to those questions, but I can tell you this:

𝗚𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄, and sometimes it's not what you say that's the problem, it's who you are while you’re saying it.

The anxious you can’t find answers to challenging questions under pressure and doesn’t come across as well as the confident  composed you. Preparing yourself to be able to perform under pressure and access your natural confidence in interview is an important skill, especially when you’re interviewing for a leadership position.

Preparing for interview means preparing yourself not just your answers. That’s where people often fall down; it’s also the gap I work in. I help you access calm confidence under pressure rather than spiraling into despair so you can represent yourself as the capable leader you are, rather than the imposter you sometimes feel.

So what steps can you take to ensure that a failed interview doesn’t haunt your thoughts and sabotage your future performance? The following tips will help you put past experiences aside and walk int to your next interview with confidence.

Review the interview while it’s still fresh in your mind.

While the interview is still fresh in your mind do a post interview review. Mentally, or on paper make a note of:

• The questions you were asked

• The answers you gave

• What you feel you could improve on

• What was easy to answer

• What you think you answered incorrectly

• What you struggled to express

• What you wished you’d asked

• How you felt during the interview

Give yourself a day or two to before looking back at it and plan how you could answer better, in case the same question comes up again. If weren’t satisfied with your answer and you struggle to come up with an answer you’re satisfied with, do some research online for similar questions and responses, reach out to someone who’s opinion you trust, or ask you preferred AI assistant to help brainstorm alternative responses.

Sometimes it's not what you say that's the problem, it's who you are when you’re saying it.

Too stressed and your mind goes blank leaving you unable to access important information. Too relaxed and you risk coming across as if you don’t really want the job.

Look back on the interview and notice the following:

• How did you feel walking into the interview?

• How did you interact with the interview panel in the first moments of the interview.

• Were there times when you felt yourself being put under pressure?

• How did you react to this?

• Did their questioning or attitude disturb you in any way?

• How would you describe your changes in mood during the interview?

• Did anything they say trigger you in any way?

First impressions matter and how you walk into a room can influence the rest of the conversation. At a leadership level interview panels want to see how you react under pressure, they might be more interested in how you handle interruptions or interrogation rather than the exact answers you give.

Prepare yourself emotionally not just intellectually.

At a leadership level you need to be aware of your personal triggers, be able to put aside your own stuff and access clear calm thinking without it costing your composure or your presence.

Try these first steps towards emotional intelligence, awareness and flexibility to ensure you’re not derailed by your next interview panel:

• Be more conscious of the emotions you’re actually experiencing

• Know you triggers and why they effect you

• Recognize the signs before you get tipped over the edge

• Find ways to regain control and composure

• Practice accessing emotions such as composure, confidence and presence

Knowing your triggers and why they effect you can help prevent you from being sabotaged by your emotions. When you can recognize the signs before you get tipped over the edge, you stand a greater chance of maintaining control. Once you’ve identified and addressed the cause of the trigger practicing being able to consciously access desired states such as composure, confidence and presence can help you consciously choose which version of you is turning up under pressure.

Emotional intelligence and flexibility is a skill well worth developing, not just for you next job interview, but for challenging interactions in countless high pressure situations whether you’re founding your own company, giving or receiving feedback, negotiating a deal, applying for funding or speaking with your teenager or even your mother-in-law!

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