The truth about speaking on stage

As some of you will already be aware, I attended the HBA European Leadership Summit at the beginning of June and that I had the honor of supporting some of the speakers.

Those of you who were there may have also seen me stand on stage share a story and say a few words about fear and confidence accompanied by my colleague Susan Heaton-Wright.

What you probably aren’t aware of is how I was feeling while standing on stage. Truth is that my legs were shaking and I could feel my voice trembling and much of the script that I had practiced went from my head. The thought that came to me as I stood there in front of the 350 inspirational  leaders present weren’t of pride and achievement, but

“Thank goodness I’m wearing along skirt so everyone can’t see how badly my legs are shaking!”

I certainly wasn’t exuding confidence but according to those I spoke to after the event I didn’t come across as nervous as I felt. In fact one lady thought I was a professional speaker!

So how did I manage to hide my anxiety from so many people and come across as an experienced speaker?

I trained like one, behaved like one and treated myself like one. 

So what does that actually mean?

• I considered my audience

I chose a topic that was reverent not only to the work I was doing, but that everyone in the room had experienced at sometime in their lives; the connection between anxiety and confidence and the feelings of guilt and shame when we fail at the little things.

• I used story telling

I chose a story about my own life in a serious but lighthearted about, how I had struggled and overcome anxiety and used some of those techniques to help the speakers perform with confidence at the event.

• I used my unique voice

I didn’t use Ai to write the script or embellish it with words that I didn’t feel like my own. I chose words that felt authentic and considered the level of the poplin the audience.

• I considered delivery and structure

Considered pace, where to put add emphasis with pauses, where to look in the room, my body language and hand gestures

• I practiced

Both off stage as well as on. I learnt sections script and practiced it out loud both in front of the mirror and while out walking in the days preceding the event. I also memorized key transition words to help me move from one topic to another cleanly

• I used techniques to calm myself

I got curious about what was behind the feelings on anxiety when standing and speaking stage and before I walked on stage consciously associated with confidence and professionalism rather than feelings of being an imposter in a room of experts.

• I trusted myself

I trusted that even if I did forget some of the exact words of the script, I would still be able to get my message across and give value on a topic I knew a lot about… confident communication

Why am I telling you this?

Because when we see others speaking up with confidence and leading with presence we somehow presume that they’re feeling as confident as they look to us. But looks can be deceiving and we don’t really know how they’re really feeling on the inside. There are some leaders who act like they were born to be in the spotlight but even professional news readers, Hollywood actors and politicians feel nervous from time to time; some of them feel nervous every time they appear.

So if you’re judging yourself for being nervous, if you’re staying quiet because there’s someone who in your eyes is better equipped than you, if you’re waiting for the time when you don’t feel the shaking your legs or dryness in your mouth at the thought of speaking… you might be trying to achieve something that’s unrealistic.

There is often anxiety present when we perform at things that matter and that’s okay. The way forward is accepting its there and managing yourself, so that it doesn’t overwhelm you. When you do this, over time you not only build positive experience, you build evidence that you can perform despite the anxiety.

If you have an upcoming ‘performance’ whether it’s voicing your opinion, presenting at a meeting, or giving a TED talk, my speaker packages are designed with you in mind.