February 26, 2024
People sometimes ask what type of ‘magic’ it is I use that can resolve problems that they’ve lived with so long that it’s actually become part of their identity. What sort of magic reveals solutions that couldn’t even be seen before let alone considered or chosen?
So can I perform magic? The simple answer of course is no, I can’t… but I can understand how people can feel like some sort of magic is going on because I’ve experienced the magic from both sides many times.
If I was to describe it to you I’d say it’s like creating light in a darkened room. You’re fumbling around in the dark, jumping a the slightest sound, imagining monsters everywhere. All you’re aware of is that something is blocking your way. Something is stopping you from moving forward, but its pitch black and you can’t see what it is that’s blocking you, let alone find a way around it. You don’t want to push against it too hard against it, or try to find out too much about what it is because you’re scared about what it might be.
That’s the fear of the unknown, you might not like the place where you are, but at least you know this situation. You don’t know however, what’s on the other side of the thing that’s blocking you and in your imagination it could well be a lot worse than what you’re dealing with right now.
Coaching is like having a friend with you in that room. A special someone at your side who has the ability to create a little light so you can see what’s really there, see what’s in your way, see what the monsters that make those frightening noises actually look like.
Sometimes the light is only enough to illuminate a small area for a few seconds, like match being struck. Sometimes it’s a little brighter and lasts longer like a candle perhaps. Sometimes it’s like a torch which you can point in one direction it illuminates the area in front of you, but there is still darkness all around.
Then sometimes it’s as if you’ve found light switch and the whole room is filled with light. Suddenly you can see everything clearly, there are no shadows any more, and you can see the monsters for what they really are.
With the flick of that switch you’ve gone from fumbling in the dark and jumping at the slightest sound, to being able to see not only the problem, but the size of the problem and a way around the problem as well.
That doesn’t mean that there isn’t still work to be done. It doesn’t mean that life suddenly has no problems, it doesn’t mean there isn’t work to be done. To be completely honest some people when they do find that light switch, decide to switch it off again, fast. They’re just not ready to see what’s there, they’d rather stay in the dark and not face the reality of their situation. It can be hard work changing things that have been established for so long and there’s no shame in admitting that you’d rather just stay where you are for the time being at least.
However if you are ready to make changes to your situation, knowing the size and shape of the obstacle can be reassuring to say the least. Now you can see the size of the problem, now you know what you’re dealing with and with that knowledge come options where before there were none. Options that give you back some control over your life and your future.
Of course we all have those light switch moments even without coaching, so why bother with hiring a coach?
The truth is that working with a coach not only helps you identify the problem and find options to move forward. It also helps you create an action plan and put it into action without overwhelming yourself or underestimating your abilities.
Working with a coach helps you identify and mitigate problems along the way, adapt to unforeseen occurrences and keep going.
Working with a coach keeps you accountable to your goal… Your goal, not someone else’s.
Working with a coach means you’re not working alone, which at the end of the day can make a world of difference.
Working with a coach can mean the difference between success and failure, between being alone in the dark and having someone by your side.
And sometimes that can make the difference between keeping going or not, between succeeding and giving up.
If you’re fumbling in the dark and need some help finding the light switch, I can help.
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