Why This Is the Worst Advice Before a Presentation

You’re about to give an important presentation. Your heart’s racing, your palms are sweaty, and someone well-meaning leans over and says, “ Calm down, it’ll be fine”

If only it were that simple! For most people, trying to calm down doesn’t calm anything. It just adds another layer of frustration: “Why can’t I control myself?” The truth is that telling someone or yourself to relax when adrenaline is already pumping is like trying to perform an emergency stop on a moving freight train. It doesn’t work; in fact it often makes things worse.

Anxiety and Excitement: Two Sides of the Same Coin

When you’re about to present, your body goes into a state of high arousal resulting in an increase in heart rate, breathing, and energy. That physiological state is almost identical whether you’re anxious or excited, the difference lies in how your mind labels that feeling.

In a landmark study at Harvard Business School, researcher Alison Wood Brooks got participants to perform in anxiety inducing situations including singing in public, delivering speeches and solving timed maths problems. Before performing, some were told to say, “I am anxious.” Others were told to say, “I am excited.”

Those who said “I am excited” consistently performed better across all tasks. They were rated as more confident, more persuasive, and more competent.

Why? Because it’s far easier to reframe anxiety into excitement than to suppress it altogether.

Why “Calm Down” Backfires

“Calm down” assumes that reducing arousal is the goal, but in moments of pressure, your body’s fight-or-flight response is already in motion… you can’t override biology on command.

When you try to suppress that energy, you create tension and self-doubt and your focus turns inward.  “How do I sound? Do I look nervous?” “Will anyone notice?” instead of turning outward towards your audience.

Reframing anxiety as excitement uses the same energy, just in a different direction. Excitement says, “Something important is happening and I’m ready.” Anxiety says, “Something important is happening and I’m not ready.” The physiological signal is identical but the meaning is different and that changes everything.

A Presentation Is a Performance

Here’s the part most people forget: A presentation isn’t a conversation, it’s a performance.

If you were completely calm, you’d probably sound flat. The energy that makes your voice dynamic, your eyes alive and your gestures natural, all come from arousal.

Think of an athlete before a race or a musician before a concert; their hearts are racing too. The goal  for them isn’t calm, it’s directed energy. A bit of excitement brings warmth, charisma, and connection and that’s what audiences (even small ones) remember.

So when you feel that surge before a big meeting or presentation, it might not be fear. It might just be unused excitement waiting to be channelled.

The Limit of “Fake It Till You Make It”

That said, this trick only goes so far. Simply declaring “I’m excited” won’t dissolve years of overthinking or silence the inner critic that says you’re not ready, not fluent enough, or not good enough.

Alison Wood Brooks’ research shows that reframing anxiety as excitement can help you sound more engaging, but it doesn’t reduce anxiety itself. It helps you perform better in the moment, not build lasting confidence.

If your anxiety is high, those surface level affirmations can feel hollow. They work best when they sit on top of a foundation of inner safety, when you’ve already learned how to listen to and work with the mental chatter underneath.

That’s the deeper work I do with my clients. I help Associate Directors and above reduce the negative mental chatter that drives anxiety, so they can tune into excitement and calm, speak up in meetings and present with genuine confidence.

Because confidence isn’t about being calm, it’s about trusting yourself enough to ride the wave of excitement without being pulled under by anxiety.

If that’s something you’d like more of, let’s talk